David Cowles
Jul 15, 2024
“Your Destiny is the Fate of others; the Destiny of others is your Fate.”
Destiny and Fate are two words I hardly ever use. They seem to suggest a passivity that is alien to my philosophy…and perhaps to yours as well. But whenever I have used them, I’ve used them interchangeably…and I was wrong! Far from being interchangeable, Destiny and Fate are antonyms.
And for just that reason, they turn out to be very useful concepts after all! Destiny concerns what you make of yourself. Fate concerns what the world makes of you.
But even that is a gross oversimplification. Better to say, Destiny is what you can make of yourself; it is the sum of your possibilities. Fate is what the world wants to make of you; it is the sum of your limitations. “God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change (fate) and the courage to change the things I can (destiny)…” Destiny and fate are templates. We live on the border. We have one foot in the so-called past and our other foot in the so-called future. We are straddling the fence. At 10AM we regard this as a curse, at 2PM we see it as a blessing. I am 5’ 4” tall; fate keeps me from realizing my dream of playing for the Boston Celtics. On the other hand, I may be destined to ride a Kentucky Derby winner someday. Best quit the high school basketball team and take up horseback riding.
My curses can be my blessings just as my blessings may prove to be curses. My life is a Gestalt: I can see myself as the victim of fate or as the beneficiary of destiny.
We all seem to have an almost insatiable desire to be ‘someone’, to make a difference, to leave the world a better place, to fulfill our unique destiny. I am the author of my own play, the world is my stage (Shakespeare) and you, dear readers, I might as well just say it, you are my props.
So go on, hate me! It’s ok. Of course, you have your own destinies to fulfill, and potentially at least, I am one of your props. I’ll be yours if you’ll be mine, Valentine! So we’re both telling the same story, but in one version, I play the lead and in the other version, you do. Life is a high school director’s dream: every part is the lead! Your destiny is the self you choose to project (Whitehead: superject) into the world. It’s you as you’d like the world to remember you… a few billion years from now; as if! You control your destiny. If you don’t control it, it’s not your destiny, it’s your fate…over which you have no control. Destiny is what you make of yourself; Fate is what the World makes of you!
Destiny comes from Latin meaning ‘to make firm’. Destiny is the stand you take against the World. It is the judgment you execute on the gods of Egypt (Exodus 12: 12). It is your mark, your footprint in the sand, your ripple on the surface of the sea. Fate comes from Latin meaning ‘that which has been said’. Pilate: “What I have written, I have written.” Fait accompli. Les jeux sont faits (Sartre).
A black hole is ‘empty space’ with a dimensionless singularity at its center; 100% of its information content is located on its event horizon. You are a black hole! You are Neant (Sartre). Your destiny is your event horizon. It is you as pure information, you as superject.
“God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change (fate), the courage to change the things I can (destiny), and the wisdom to know the difference.” (Serenity Prayer) Ah, wisdom! A slippery commodity, that! The entire psychopathology of everyday life traces back to ‘wisdom’. Trying to alter things that cannot be changed (fate) can lead to depression, resentment, anger, and addiction. In extreme cases it can be symptomatic of psychosis, narcissism, megalomania, or solipsism.
Failing to alter things that can be changed (destiny) is a symptom of laziness, cowardice, etc. It can lead to anxiety, rage, and a loss of self-worth. In extreme cases it can be symptomatic of neurosis and nihilism. Destiny is what you do to the world; Fate is what the world does to you.
Your destiny is the fate of others; the destiny of others is your fate. Coming to be begins with not-being – not being what is. Sartre: “I am not what I am.” Before you are, you are not – you are not what is! You are acutely aware of what is; you are dimly conscious of what could be. You execute judgment on what is in the service of what could be. “I am what I am not”. (Sartre)
You are responsible for your destiny. You are what you make yourself to be. But your little skiff is not merely storm tossed on a dark and raging sea. Your boat is equipped with a rudder to help you steer and, through the fog, you can just make out a beacon of light. ‘Eternal values’ (Whitehead) orient you on your way. Of course, nothing makes you sail toward the light; you can get your bearings from a full 360° of possible courses. It’s 100% up to you, it’s your destiny after all, but there is a safe harbor if you choose to take advantage of it. If you arrive safely home, you may say that the harbor was your destiny all along and that the lighthouse showed you the way.
And that’s true! But you and only you sailed your vessel safely into port. Destiny and Fate are often seen to be in conflict. The dichotomy is enshrined in our modern Indo-European languages. When we speak using active voice verbs, we talk about destiny; when we speak in the passive voice, we talk about fate. We know how to struggle, how to fight, how to compete against others. Often, I pursue my destiny by limiting yours. I do for myself by doing to others: it’s the Golden Rule for survival in a bi-polar world.
But is this ‘best practices’? Is it possible that I might enhance my destiny by helping you advance yours? Could it be that destinies can be reinforcing rather than conflicting? If I am your fate, might you harness that fate to help you achieve your destiny? If you are my fate, might I harness that fate?
Could fate be a trampoline rather than a pile of sand…or a tar pit?
Consider space travel. The #1 impediment is gravity. The thrust needed to overcome the Earth’s attraction requires an enormous expenditure of energy. But once I have put the blue planet in my rear view mirror (do spaceships have rear view mirrors?), I am can use the Sun’s gravity to slingshot my capsule into deep space. What was once an obstacle (Earth’s gravity) has now become a tool (Sun’s gravity)? Gravity, my fate, need not just limit my destiny; it may also facilitate it.
Do we know how to align fate with destiny? Do we know how to work together toward common ends? How to harmonize the destiny of one with the destinies of all? Do we know how to love one another? Jesus final commandment, delivered to his disciples on the eve of his Crucifixion, was just this: “Love one another.”
(John 13: 34)
When we love one another, we want both of us to overcome our fates and fulfill our destinies. I understand that fulfilling my destiny includes you achieving yours. You destiny and mine become entwined.
My destiny is your fate just as yours is mine. For the most part, one dampens the other; I limit you, you limit me. But it doesn’t have to be this way. Every so often, our destinies may reinforce each other instead. When that happens fate and destiny (your trajectory and mine) coincide, each amplifying the other.
What do Utopia, the Garden of Eden, the Kingdom of Heaven, and Pepperland have in common? They are states of being in which Destiny and Fate are one. Revelation tells us that Christ is the Alpha and the Omega, the First and the Last. He is the convergence of Destiny and Fate. He is that from which the universe came to be (“without him nothing came to be” – John 1: 3) and that toward which the universe inexorably trends (“so that God is all in all” – First Corinthians 15: 28).
According to Euclid, no two parallel lines ever intersect. But 10th grade geometry notwithstanding, the world is anything but Euclidean. According to the better geometer, John of Patmos (Revelation), all lines intersect…at the Alpha and at the Omega.
David Cowles is the founder and editor-in-chief of Aletheia Today Magazine. He lives with his family in Massachusetts where he studies and writes about philosophy, science, theology, and scripture. He can be reached at david@aletheiatoday.com.
purpose and devotion.
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