Oh the Things that You’ll Think!

We imagine we are the captains of our own ship, authors of our fate, but in fact we are mostly just living out the collective lives of others. 

You rail against the menace of AI, but we’ve been relying on AI for at least the last 500 years. The rapid advancement of literacy, literature and ‘library science’ created a noosphere of information that is shared broadly by adults around the world. (And BTW you were right; it is dangerous!)

And it’s not just literature, far from it! The past century has witnessed an explosion in information creation, distribution and storage technology. What began with ‘Gutenberg’ has crested with Tic Tok. As a result we are immersed in an information sea that is orders of magnitude denser than our great grandparents enjoyed. 

Once upon a time, school children would sit down to memorize a simple poem. Now we automatically ‘memorize’ jingles, slogans, lyrics, raps, riffs, and memes, not to mention the mountains of technical information we must ingest in order to function adequately in today’s techno-world.   

According to philosopher and linguist Jacques Derrida, only about 3% of the things we think are actually our own thoughts. Everything else is collective wisdom (or folly) mindlessly regurgitated. And he made that determination before the advent of personal computers, smart phones, the internet or the world wide web. I shudder to think what that number might be today.

All of which makes me think, of course, of Dr. Seuss; who else? For decades we’ve been sending our young men and women off into the world to the rhymes and rhythms of Oh, the Places You’ll Go. It’s an anthem of optimism, individualism, and consumerism. Our graduation parties are well-intentioned, but they prepare our young adults for a world none of them will ever experience.

So, we can be forgiven if we arrive at some milestone, e.g. retirement, and look back and wonder, “What happened? Where did it all go?” Mimicking the great Seuss, I have hazarded a bit of doggerel of my own that might better prepare our youth for the world we’re leaving them. Enjoy…

Oh, the Things that You'll think!

Commiserations, my friend,

Today’s not your day!

You speak others’ theses,

Whatever you say!

You have brains in your hat

And books in your shoes,

But your research will take you

Wherever they choose. You see…

You're NOT on your own. They’ll decide where you go,

Because they are the ones who decide ‘what’s to know’

.

You’ll hear new ideas. Think 'em over with care,

But expect folks to say, “Do not choose to go there!

With our brains in your head and our books at your feet,

you're too smart to go down just any new street.” Aren’t you?

You’ll need not find new ideas to explore,

Be content, be yourself (an insufferable bore)!

Of course things can happen

and frequently do

even to people not as brainy

as you.

And when things do happen,

don't worry, don't stew.

Just go right along,

Soon they’ll happen to you!

And whatever you do, they’ll say, “You are the best!”

But whatever you do, you'll be just like the rest.

Except when you aren’t.

Because, sometimes, you can't.

I'm sorry to say so

but, sadly, it's true:

Bang-ups can happen

even to you.

You'll come to a place where the streets are not marked.

Some windows are lightened. But mostly they’re dark.

Do you dare to stay out? Do you dare to go in?

How much can you lose? How much can you win?

And IF you go in, should you turn left or right...

Or right-and-three-quarters? Or, maybe, not quite?

Or go around back and sneak in from behind?

Simple it's not, I'm afraid that you’ll find,

for your mind-maker-upper to make up its mind.

You can get so confused

that you will race

headed, I fear, toward that most useless place:

The Waiting Place...

...for people just waiting.

Waiting for a train to go

or a bus to come, or a plane to go

or the mail to come, or the rain to go

or the phone to ring, or the snow to snow

or waiting around for a Yes or No

or waiting for their hair to grow.

Everyone is just waiting.

NO! That's not for you!

You have people to see

You have errands to run.

There is fun to be had

And games to be won.

And the magical things you can do with a ball

will make you the winningest winner of all.

Fame! You'll be famous as famous can be,

with the whole wide world watching you win on TV.

Except when they don't.

Because, sometimes, you won't.

I'm afraid at those times

you'll play lonely games too

Games you can't win'

cause you play against you.

But on you will go

On and on you will hike.

And will you succeed?

You know, you just might!

(98 and ¾ percent guaranteed)

Kid, you’ll move mountains -

Huge piles of sand

That belong to the others -

For whatever they’ve planned.

So... be your name Buxbaum or Bixby or Bray

or Mordecai Ali Van Allen O'Shea,

Your mountain is waiting…

Start chipping away!

- With apologies to Dr. Seuss

***

Image: Jan Steen, The Village School (c. 1670)

Jan Steen’s lively scene shows a rustic classroom full of noisy children, distracted pupils, and an exasperated teacher—turning everyday education into a microcosm of human folly. Every figure wrestles with discipline and distraction, suggesting that learning itself is a moral and social balancing act. Through humor and chaos, Steen captures how early education becomes the training ground for future choices about work, behavior, and responsibility.