Think like an Octopus

1200 words, 6 minute read

2.5 million years ago was ‘just last week’ in life of our 4.5 billion year old planet (Earth)… but what a week it was! Back then, the genus Homo, our genus, first evolved in East Africa. At the time, your ancestors didn’t make much of a splash.

Standing 4 feet tall, weighing 90 pounds soaking wet, and having few natural defenses, Homo failed to put the fear of God into the giant hyenas, crocs, hippos and saber tooth tigers that shared Africa’s horn.

But we weren’t stupid: “There’s a whole lot of killin’ and eatin’ goin’ on here and we can’t compete. So let’s follow the Alpha predators, at a respectful distance of course, and feast on their leftovers.” And so we became scavengers of the plains.

Of course, the proto-Marxists among us complained that we were living off ‘crumbs from the table of imperialism’… but Tiny Tim will have his Christmas pud’! Liberal lions were happy to leave some choice morsels (not too many of course, they’re liberals, not anarchists) for the pathetic scavengers but the Leonid Lords warned against the practice: “Your generosity may fuel a revolution of rising expectations. One day, you may face these beggars across the barricades.”

These well-considered warnings only provoked laughter. Misguided whelps would continue to ‘feed the wild animals’ (as they called it). But surprisingly, the Lion scouts, the hunters, backed the idle Lords (politics sure does make strange bedfellows). It seems the Homo community included a seer who’d been overheard delivering an oracle to his followers:

“One day lions will live in cages, and your descendants will feed them their leftovers.”

Even then, members of the genus Homo were known for their keen sense of humor, so the Pride shrugged off this second warning too, albeit a bit more nervously. The seer had noticed what everyone else had overlooked…or disregarded: Homo thinks differently from Panthera (‘big cats’) and eventually that difference would deliver an unstoppable evolutionary advantage.

Well “it’s yesterday once more” and now it’s my turn to play prophet. There are genera (plural of genus for those of you who skipped Latin) today whose members think differently from us and that difference may one day translate into a new round of evolutionary advantage…at our expense.

“Meet the new boss!” (The Who) Better than the old boss? Researchers have discovered a mutation, unique to Octopus, that allows their cells to produce certain proteins, critical in the thought process, with remarkable fidelity. 

According to an article in Scientific American (7/29/2026), Richard Han, then a graduate student in the lab of Harvard Medical School cell biologist Amy Lee, was examining Octopus RNA—the molecules that carry the genetic instructions that cells use to build proteins—when he noticed an unusual break in the genetic sequences that formed ribosomes, the cell’s protein-makers.

This segment of ribosomal RNA (rRNA) is identical across every other animal species that’s been studied, so Octopus’ unique deviation jumped out. To figure out how this mutation affects ribosome function, the researchers engineered it into certain bacteria. The altered bacteria made fewer protein building errors. 

Neurons, being long-lived, are especially vulnerable to protein production errors which slow thought and increase the incidence of error. So next time Junior brings home a bad report card, don’t be surprised if he tells you that your RNA is to blame. If he’s precocious, he may even suggest that gene therapy (CRISPR), rather than the usual punishments, would help him raise his grades.

The advantages of this mutation are obvious, so it’s unclear why this evolutionary step should have been confined to Octopus genera and specifically to those species of Octopus (shallow water) that split off from their deep-water counterparts roughly 100 million years ago.

Octopus’ prodigious intelligence is all the more surprising when you realize that they don’t have a central nervous system. Rather, their whole body functions as a decentralized data processor. The left tentacle literally doesn’t know what the right tentacle is doing.

As Scarecrow discovered in the Wizard of Oz, brains do not create consciousness, consciousness configures brains (and/or other cognitive organs). While vertebrates’ evolution of a central nervous system was a big deal, a leap forward that the genus Homo exploited to obvious advantage, it is not the whole story.

Powerful as they are, brains are very inefficient. They are remote, fragile, and super sensitive. Processing takes place far from where ‘boy meets world’. Plus, brains need to be protected, and temperature controlled, so a heavy, thick skull and a semi-permeable membrane are required.

It seems that Octopus has found a better solution. The cognitive function is distributed throughout the body. As in Roman Catholic political theory (subsidiarity), decisions are made locally, i.e. as close to the action site as possible.

But the cosmic showdown, Homo vs. Octo, may be overhyped. Rumors of a $250,000 ticket price are probably exaggerated. One of Homo’s signature traits is its ability to adapt. Already there is evidence that we are starting to think like our Cephaloid cousins. Blockchain is a form of distributed intelligence that auto-corrects errors; it already supports segments of our financial industry. My advice to scalpers: stick to Taylor Swift!

Now we learn that the European Union is adapting Octopus neurology and blockchain technology to create an automated intelligence network, known as a “digital targeting web…Project ASGARD” (from Norse mythology).

The system has been cobbled together over the course of four months—an astonishing pace for weapons development usually measured in years. Its purpose is to connect directly everything that looks for targets (‘sensors’ in military lingo) with everything that fires on them (‘shooters’). 

Say a reconnaissance drone spots an enemy tank. In conventional operations, the soldier operating that drone would pass the intelligence through a centralized chain of command to a decision making authority. But a targeting web like ASGARD operates more like an octopus, whose tentacles act autonomously while also collaborating in pursuit of collective strategic goals. 

Consider some post-WWII military engagements in this light. In 1970, Nixon unleashed an invasion of Cambodia’s Parrot’s Beak in an unsuccessful effort to disrupt North Vietnam’s logistical command and control. 5 years later, Saigon unexpectedly fell to a well-coordinated attack.

Now fast forward to the Gulf Wars. The allies knocked out Iraq’s central command structure at the beginning of each conflict. ‘Blinded’, Sadham was unable to anticipate or counter US troop movements. Had Iraq developed and deployed an ASGARD system prior to its invasion of Kuwait, Gulf history might have played out differently.

But the lessons of the Octopus transcend warfare! Alzheimer’s and dementia are associated with plaque deposits in the brain which may result from protein production errors. It is conceivable that we will soon be able to harness Cephaloid biology to eliminate these scourges from the repertoire of human tragedy. Don’t count us out yet!

Or we may end up serving new, hopefully benevolent, eight limbed masters.